Just for Fun: Lycanthrobrarians
As we conducted our first and second rounds of surveys a strange trend emerged. When tracking the rate of response, we noticed a significant correlation to the change in responses versus the phase of the moon! Observe the following graphs:
The first graph shows the number of responses vs. lunar phase. Here the correlation can be seen in that as the moon wanes, the slope of the response line increases sharply. A clearer observation of this phenomenon is seen in the second graph. Here the blue line is the lunar phase during the survey and the red line is the differential of responses. That is, the red line represents the number of incoming new responses over each week of the survey. As is clearly shown, peak activity takes place during the time in which 0% of the lunar disk was visible.
From these data we propose that the lunar phase has some impact upon librarian behavior. If we examine other walks of life which are affected by lunar activity we can conclude a correlation between archivists and the following:
- Surfers because the moon controls the tides
- Lycanthropes, commonly known as werewolves, are purported to transform and go on rampages during the full moon.
- Lyanthrope hunters, which because of the above tend to hunt on the full moon. After all, during other phases, they can never be sure if the person they are stalking is, in fact, a lycanthrope.
The most likely explanation, that librarians are surfers, will be discussed first. While the moon does indeed control tides, the phase of the moon has no impact on the tidal forces exerted on the ocean. The tides are determined by the rising, setting, and transit times of the moon, and there is no correlation to heights of tides during any lunar phase. Clearly we cannot surmise that librarians are necessarily surfers, though some probably are.
Thus we are left with the two lyncanthropy based options. The first, and perhaps most obvious, conclusion that we could reach are that a significant cross section of librarians are werewolves. To test this theory we visited several libraries at night during the full moon to count both librarians in human and bipedal wolf form. As a control, we also visited the libraries during other lunar phases. Our findings were quite definitive. There was no change in the number of human workers in the libraries, nor was there an increase in the number of bipedal wolves rampaging through the libraries. (Indeed, the number of wolves of any kind within the stacks, circulation, reference, and periodicals section held steady at 0.) Therefore, we cannot conclude that there are an observable quantity of librarians who are also lycanthropes.
The final option, that librarians are a type of lycanthrope hunter is therefore the most likely. These noble archivists are not, however, an active sort of werewolf hunter. They were all at their posts during the full moon, and as previously stated, no werewolves were in their libraries. Instead, we proffer that a significant number of librarians are defenders against the rampaging hordes of half-men half-wolf creatures. This conclusion explains all of our previous observations. First, during waxing moons the librarians have to increase preparedness to defend their libraries. Thus, during these times of preparation, there is little time remaining to participate in online surveys. Second, during the waning moons, there is bound to be some cleanup activities should any violent encounters with manbeasts occur. Thus at the beginning of the waning moon, there is also little time for responding to surveys. During the new moon, however, the librarians are free from there werewolf based duties, and can relax with a good book, and respond to our survey.
Thank you noble librarians. Carry on the good fight and we'll see you in the next survey!